The Stages of Grief

by CJ 26. March 2012 19:30

What if I told you that, in time, the pain will go away? That, years from now, you will look fondly on the good memories of your pet without your heart breaking? Well, it’s not only possible; it’s true. According to popular psychology, there is a process of grieving that most people go through when dealing with a loss. Understanding this process will help you see the light at the end of the tunnel of grief. The theory of coping with death was developed by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and is easily recognized by the acronym DABDA: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Briefly, each stage of coping is described below:

  1. Denial -- “There’s no way this could be happening to me."
  2. Anger -- "Why me? I don’t deserve this.”
  3. Bargaining -- “Maybe if I tried this new medication or procedure, he wouldn’t die.”
  4. Depression -- “I don’t know how to deal with this. I’m just so sad.”
  5. Acceptance -- “It will be okay. I can accept this.”

When grieving a loss of a pet (or any other loved one), it’s important to know that emotions like anger and denial are normal and that, although you may always miss your best friend, you will one day be able to move on. If your emotions seem too much to handle on your own, don’t feel bad about seeking help, either from friends or from a professional. You can also consider letting Best Friend Services help you choose the best pet memorial for your dog, cat or other pet. When you’ve moved through the grieving process, you’ll be thankful you’ve chosen to memorialize your loved one in such a special way. Having a physical remembrance in place for your pet can help you to find closure to the grieving process.

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Helping a Friend Mourn a Loss

by CJ 7. March 2012 09:00

You may be prepared for the loss of your own pet, but what about your friends and family? Do they have a plan in place? Often times, when faced with the impending death of a loved one, people forget to ask some of the questions that should seem obvious: Will the pet be buried or cremated? How will we tell the kids? Will we hold a service? So, when a friend experiences a loss, there are plenty of ways you can help soften the blow and take care of some of the details for them. Some ideas for how you can help:

  • Arrange a casual gathering to share memories of and stories about the family pet. Plan it at a comfortable place with familiar friends and good food.
  • Create a photo album of pet photos as a gift for your friend. If you can make it a surprise, it might be even more special to them.
  • Bring your friend a homemade meal on their first day without their pet to give them a day off. Offer to eat the meal with them--they may want company. (Or they may not! Always ask first.)
  • Help them choose a way to commemorate their pet in a more permanent way with a memorial plaque or urn. Best Friend Services offers various options for the perfect gift. But, if you can't decide which product is best, one safe bet is a Best Friends Services gift certificate.

No matter how you choose to help your friend mourn their loss, remember that being present and available to help is the best thing you can do. The rest will fall into place.

Books on Pet Loss

by CJ 4. January 2012 08:59

The loss of a pet can be devastating. Often, your pet has become a true, integral part of the family. When they pass, you experience immense amounts of grief. It can be hard to deal with the strong emotions and learn to heal. Thankfully, you don't have to figure it out on your own. There are many helpful resources out there to help you to move through the grieving process in a healthy way. Here are a few books that may help you to find some measure of comfort.

 
When Your Pet Dies: A Guide to Mourning, Remembering and Healing by Alan D. Wolfelt PhD
Author Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD is the director for the Center for Loss and Life Transition. He is well-respected and has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Larry King Live and Today. His book covers topics such as understanding  your emotions, why grief for a pet is unique and creating pet memorials.

The Loss of a Pet by Wallace Sife
Wallace Sife is a psychotherapist and the founder of the Association for Pet Bereavement. His book is particularly meant to help the pet owner whose sense of loss is misunderstood or even ridiculed by those around them. Sife shares compassionate, practical advice on grieving and includes case studies to illuminate his points.

How to Roar: Pet Loss Grief Recovery by Robin Jean Brown
Robin Jean Brown is a fellow pet-owner who understands the loss of a pet in a very personal way. She shares her story with you, then writes and provides journaling questions on topics chosen to help you process your own feelings.

Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet by Moira Anderson Allen
So many people have found this book helpful that it's in its 3rd edition. Allen covers many possible emotional reactions and introduces coping strategies. She also offers wisdom on such difficult subjects as euthanasia, choosing a final resting place and helping children to cope.

Cherished: 21 Writers on Animals They Have Loved and Lost edited by Barbara Abercrombie
Grieving can be very lonely, so Barbara Abercrombie sought to help pet owners out by bringing together these fine stories from known writers so you know you're not alone. The book includes offerings by Anne Lamott, Jane Smiley and Jacqueline Winspeare, among many others.

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Telling Your Child About a Pet’s Death

by CJ 21. December 2011 09:00
It can be very hard for parents to break the news of the death of a pet to their child. A pet’s death is often the first major loss that a child experiences, so it’s only natural for parents to want to cushion the blow for them as much as possible. Some struggle with whether or not to tell the child was has really happened, thinking that perhaps it would be better to provide some other explanation for why their pet is no longer around.

However, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychology recommends being open and honest with children about the death of a pet. You might want to save your child pain now by hiding the truth. But providing vague or untruthful answers can lead to feelings of anxiety, confusion and mistrust later.

Of course, there are still ways for you as a parent to cushion your child when you tell them about your pet’s death. You don’t need to make your explanations long or complex. Simply love your child through the experience. Pick a familiar, comfortable setting for your conversation. Tell them the news gently, with a soothing voice and manner. Put a loving arm around them.

Once you’ve told them the bad news, answer their questions simply, honestly and in words that they will easily understand. Give them a chance to talk about their feelings without shame, and share your own feelings. Let them know that it is normal for them to miss their pet and experience grief. Make sure that they know they should come to you with any questions they have later.  

Once you’ve broken the news, you should allow your child to grieve in his or her own way. This could mean holding a burial ceremony for your pet, helping to choose or make a pet memorial, drawing pictures or writing stories and poetry.

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Honoring a Pet

by CJ 14. October 2011 07:27

Best Friend Services is a company that strives to help customers honor their pets appropriately and with love. We understand that losing a pet is like losing someone in your family or a best friend. We want to mourn with you and offer a variety of products that allow you to commemorate your lost pet.

If you are looking for something that keeps the memory of your lost pet with you forever then Best Friend Services has a variety of elegant pet urns and pet jewelry perfect for this occasion. The urns are hand-crafted with beautiful hardwoods, marble, and precious metals. The gorgeous jewelry is available in silver or gold and has a variety of styles to fit your needs perfectly. Some of the products are available specific for dogs or cats.

Best Friend Services makes these products because it is a part of the grieving process you go through when you lose a pet. The pet urns are a way of honoring your pet and keeping their memory with you always. If you or a friend are going through this hard time, please take a moment to look at the products available. Let us help you through this process.

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Memorials for a Lifetime

Best Friend Services was founded in 2003 in order to help people grieving the loss of a pet. Dealing with the stress of losing a pet doesn't need to be compounded by having to research pet urns or the cremation process.

Keep the memories of your best friend alive with one of our hand-selected pet urns, pet memorials or burial markers. With cat urns, dog urns, and pet memorials of all kinds, we are sure you will find the perfect way to remember the special relationship you shared with your pet.

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